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The Pain In Parting

by Goodbye To Sleep

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1.
2.
I’m at the end of a spiral Looked around the room Just to find there was nothing And i guess that’s fine I’ve always wanted more room to move about I’m getting used to the silence No one ever wants to go out I have to make a plan for once I went along with my instincts Now everything’s cold And nobody gives a passing glance The only place worse than this is my dreams Where anything and everything can happen Being chased through the dark by something i can’t see And i guess that’s fine I’ve always wanted more room to move about I’m getting used to the silence No one ever wants to go out Dreams where i’m tied to an empty bed But i can’t wake up What if this is just it What if this isn’t a dream What if this is everything We don’t get a choice And we die alone And i guess that’s fine I’ve always wanted more room to move about I’m getting used to the silence No one ever wants to go out I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god someone out there hears me And i guess that’s fine I’ve always wanted more room to move about I’m getting used to the silence No one ever wants to go out I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god someone out there hears me I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god someone out there hears me This is the bullet train Soaring across the landscape Out of view Pressing on indefinitely Until the next station Where we depart I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god that someone out there hears me I hope these people stop cursing my name I feel it deep down That hopeless feeling, I’m reeling in the bad thoughts wondering where it came from And if i had the time, you know i’d try to unwind And fall apart I’m here now I’m ready I’m ready Just say my name I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god someone out there hears me I guess it’s time for anything, from 4-6, 7-9 I pray to god someone out there hears me I’m at the end of a spiral
3.
Surrender 03:41
I saw you for the last time Boarding the final bus to Boston Left a note and i didn’t reach you in time We bear this weight on our souls until we surrender Maybe i can make it out sometime I would do anything to hear your voice again I assume you don’t care But i lay here hoping You see the stars above as something we share Something we share, something we share We bear this weight on pour souls until we surrender Maybe i can make it out sometime I would do anything to hear your voice again I assume you don’t care But i lay here hoping You see the stars above as something we share I can’t look in the mirror until we surrender All of this weight on my chest, i surrender. Screaming in the dark at a phone I know you can’t hear me through the dial tone But i’m visiting internally It tears me apart and i hate you But god it tears me apart loving you We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender Maybe i can make it out sometime I would do anything to hear your voice again I assume you don’t care But i lay here hoping You see the stars above as something we share We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender I can’t look in the mirror until we surrender All of this weight on my chest, i surrender. I can’t look in the mirror until we surrender All of this weight on my chest, i surrender. We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender We carry this weight on our chests til we surrender
4.
5.
Break me down she says Tá mé i ngrá leat Take me home Fireside conversations pondering everything Tá mé i ngrá leat Where did the time go Everybody met up once a year To talk about life and the drama and comedy of hearsay But At the end of the day I guess It all amounts to nothing Yet in our hearts this time together is everything it’s no longer around today I have many questions to this day None will ever be answered anyway And i don’t think anyone should try to bring me clarity Everybody met up once a year To talk about life and the drama and comedy of hearsay But At the end of the day I guess It all amounts to nothing Yet in our hearts this time together is everything it’s no longer around today Remember the first time you said you loved me Tá mé i ngrá leat And i guess it all amounts to nothing remember the first time you said you’re leaving And it’s left me reeling ever since Now Those words are stuck in my head Tá mé i ngrá leat
6.
7.
Backpack 03:28
You keep yourself awake Using your fingers, you pinch yourself We wear our abusers Like a backpack Carry that weight wherever you go I said i’d carry the weight wherever we go It’s the least i could do, i could do, you know, i’d die for you You know i’m not asking for the same, but it’d be nice if you did that too You rode on the backs Of every lie you told I have tried Time and time again If this morning sun is the last light i see Just know it’s okay I don’t blame you or anyone else for my mistakes At the least i could be, i could be something for you The least you could do, you could do, is try for me, and i could try for you At your worst i tried my best to make my way through the distress Of living through my wonder years I’m just wondering where they went You rode on the backs Of every lie you told At the least i could be, i could be something for you And you could be too The least you could do, you could do, is try for me, and i could try for you It’s the least i could do, i could do, you know i’d die for you And i’ve been thinking, i’ve been thinking how... You suffered the past just to find it wasn’t you I just thought that i could be, i could be something for you I know you thought i wasn’t much, but i tried cuz i adore you I can’t go a single day without thinking about you And i can’t write a single song without making it about you
8.
The winter has come Another year has passed Another year of waiting Making more mistakes And if you see my face Looking through the frosted window No tree or ornaments Just know that when my mind is elsewhere, i don’t feel so alone The winter has come, another year has passed Another year of waiting and never learning Making mistakes and a birthday i’m spending alone You can be anything But why haven’t i become something i’ll take anything Making mistakes until another birthday i’m spending it alone Guess i’ll say hello to the summer time Nobody knows until they try how far it goes until it goes Guess i’ll say goodbye to the holidays You know i never liked them anyways I don’t want to spend these cold days Alone Cold cold days alone I was stuck to the lives of others With no more time to make it under the covers And now they blow away Losing time, losing time... And i know it’s irrelevant I’ll try my best to make it up to you Someday somehow losing time, i know i’m losing time And after all this time it just comes around again It just comes around again
9.
My Last Song 04:50
Lyrics: The last time i saw you I was an embarrassing pathetic mess That was so long ago but i assume you remember only that I’ve tried my best to change who i am The clock just keeps ticking on and on It’s not just you It’s everything i’ve done in the past few years It all adds up and i can’t face up to what i’ve become I wish i could take a step backwards in time Erase you and i Because i’d rather not remind you of who i was with nothing but more bad times I don’t want to make everything worse, i’m sure you’ve forgotten me by now I’ve grown past you, but when i’m not around... Just know all i thought of is the hundreds of faces i’ll be letting down And i still imagine you in that crowd I hope this isn’t my last song But as of right now i’m looking for a way out I’ve said all that needed to be said Just know i love you, even if i’m dead Life is what you make it But when you can’t make anything Who’s going to pay for your grave? I guess we shouldn’t worry about such things But i’m rushing for the door. I’ve said all that needed to be said Just know i love you, even if i’m dead I know i’m horrible Absolutely terrible But I’m not all that bad I’ve just miscalculated the plunge I’ve got an eye for something, i’ll never find out what This is my lowest point and i can’t get back up I’m sorry to anyone disappointed and angry I’m sorry to everyone i love Please don’t forget me I love you all I haven’t lived long, Yet I’ve seen it all I don’t mean the world But everyone worth loving And all the art worth making So hold me close Don’t forget me It’s bittersweet, not for you but for me And maybe on the brighter side of things, in my last moments i’ll learn something I’m betraying everyone i know And it’s going to hurt But with time, i’m sure you’ll let me go
10.
Encore 07:08

about

After being deeply unhappy with my previous unreleased album, I found this sudden surge of inspiration
...The Pain In Parting is my most personal and bittersweet work so far. The sound is generally more melodic and 'soaring', and it's fitting because this is set to close off the Goodbye To Sleep legacy.

Yes, this is going to be my last LP.

The project won't be retired entirely, there will be singles periodically, and a yet to be announced commission is on the horizons, but I'm sad to say this is the official end to what is an extremely prideful line of work. I'm moving onto bigger, better things, writing my first ever fiction novel, and gearing up to release my band's debut album, followed by my other band's second LP. It seems i don't need this solo project anymore with all of this excitement going on in my life.

Everything i wanted to say creatively has been said, and since this music never garnered much of a following, I would like to thank the small group of people who played these songs over-and-over the past few years. It was one of the reasons I kept up with this project so frequently.

Thank you, Frank for over 1,000 plays. You madman. Also for kickstarting my passion for this project, and doing a feature on one of my songs. Bless you.

Thank you to Gabrielle and Jo for laying down vocals on two of my most popular tracks, i honestly couldn’t have pulled it off without you lol.

And a big thank you to Austin for doing guitars on the first album.

This is my send-off, my final thank you and goodbye to one of the proudest eras of my life. I love you all, thank you.


- Brandon

credits

released February 28, 2020

All songs written and performed by Brandon Bzduch

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Goodbye To Sleep Rochester, New York

a storm in a teacup

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